By Ginny Sophomore
Right now I’m going through a relationship that has turned blue. Though not absolutely sour. The honeymoon period is over since we came to live together continuously.
Stuff like a roof over your head, paying the bills and bringing home the bacon being taken care of by him, I’m supposed to now not expect any love and endearment in the form of overt gestures!
Or so it seems.
He needs to be left alone. He returns from work and off he goes to sleep. I’m left to take care of household chores, taking care of his and mine. I mean a daughter and a son. Add to that two dogs 🐩 🐕 , a cat 🐈⬛ and a parrot🦜 ! Hasn’t he acquired quite a menagerie in his life.
Yes. He’s ahead of me in year.
That being done, if I take some time off to sketch or update my social media on my work, it irks him. It’s a waste of time!
I know this is not doing me any good. I need to assert myself without hen pecking – which always leads to squabbling.
So I got on the phone to my friend and she gave me some pointers on having observed some couples closely, she said to me.
This is the current life of a friend of mine.
She told me her friend had persuaded her to not talk! Speech must be at a minimum if you are to master the art of averting the blues.
Instead, pour all your energies into creativity. Make art. Make music. Grow plants. Cook. Stitch. Knit. Write. 🖼 🎼 🎶 🎵 🪴👩🍳🪡 🧵 🧶 ✍️
This too when he’s not looking. When he’s around just watch tv 📺 For some people checking out the phone 📱 works.
Just as long as you don’t leave room to engage in conversation or interaction of any sort.
This in itself is sad you might say. But the idea is to avert the blues from setting in. Do what it takes to go along to get along. This is politics of the family.
The Politics of the Family by R. D. Laing. May be I should give this book to my friend.
People just can’t wrap themselves around deep conversation when it happens too often.
When you talk, what you talk and how you talk matters.
Work through the subtleties and through intuition. That must amount to what is meant by understanding, I believe. An understanding of who he is.
Yes. He loves me but I need that love to go on and this looks like the only way it can happen.
He’s a good man. He says the truth most of the time, he does not rob from others, is not cruel to animals, doesn’t smoke or get drunk.
Least of all, does he waste money!
Keep all expectations at an all time low. You will then be pleasantly surprised 😲 and that’s one-der-full.
Fight for yourself with three or four words. If you don’t assert yourself no one will assert it for you. Make a statement and not a whole rigmarole.
Who knows he will begin to learn something by example himself and so will the children.
He and the children will learn to learn by example. That’s way better than learning through despotic orders which may not teach you anything at all.
Be satisfied that you have got what you want and be that person who gives you what you need. Don’t depend on him for what you need.
When things start getting better, you can play music all day long. Let’s see if he dashes your phone on the floor or if he begins to ease into some dance 💃 🕺 moves 😄
